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Ame – that's A ME!

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Ame – that's A ME!

Category Archives: My Horrorscopes

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Another Free Book from Azure Boone

06 Thursday Feb 2014

Posted by Ame Baby in Books, My Horrorscopes, Personal

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Another Free Book from Azure Boone

I absolutely love this book.  I just finished it the other day.  She does have a way with words!!  LOL!!!!

johnnyblue

 

I smiled nervously back then watched him move with causal ease toward the kitchen. Never saw such a white man before. Not around here. I stared at the deep dimples on his lower back near his waist band. Heat pooled in my stomach and I real-ized I should follow him. Halfway there, I stopped. “You mind if I take my shoes off? Kinda sounds like I’m calling possums or somethin’.”

Before I could regret the stupid comment, his deep laughter strummed through me.
“You call possums?” He shot a glance at me with that sexy half grin.

Heat flooded my face. “Nah, not really.” I slid off my sneakers and scooted them to the side with a foot then entered the shoebox-sized kitchen, shaped like a U.

“Not really?”

“I mean, no, of course not.” I waved a hand, coming to stand at the island for two in the center.

“It would totally be okay with me.” He set two red mugs on the island’s butcher block top and hit me with those eyes.

“Totally?” I managed to tease back. “Where you from anyway? You’re obviously not from around these parts.”

“Eh,” he shrugged, “here and there.”

I tore my eyes from his broad glowing chest and ran into his direct gaze. I quick-ly looked around the small kitchen. “Can’t believe what you’ve done to this place. Re-ally nice.”

He turned to the sink and my eyes swerved back to his body. I watched the beautiful phenomena of rippling muscles in his arms and back as he got the pot ready for fresh coffee. I forced my attention to the pot. “I love those aluminum drip pots.” I managed to keep my voice between high and low but I couldn’t manage keeping my eyes off his body.

He glanced over his shoulder and my cheeks burned at being caught gawking. Again.
Good grief. I scratched my cheek and stared at the copper pots hanging above the tiny island. “You got yourself some nice cookware there.” I nodded at them. “Do they actually work?”

He set the pot on the stove, turned on a low flame then headed toward me with that smile that could possibly mean he thought I was a fantastic idiot. But at least a fun one. My body gradually tensed as he drew closer, already resisting that gravitational pull he had about him. Lord, standing there like he didn’t affect me one bit was like holding up a mountain.

“I should get a shirt on.”

I choked out a gasp, horrified. Horrified that it was quite obvious to him how much he affected me. “Oh, pffft, not at all, you’re fine,” I said, making it clear that it was utterly unnecessary.

He grinned. “Well thank you.”

“I meant, I’m fine, as in, not bothered, it doesn’t bother me, I see men all the time like that around here, everybody goes around in the summer time without shirts.” I capped the lie with an overly exuberant laugh.

“Everybody?”

I met his teasing gaze and half grin. “You know what I mean.” My voice dropped to its usual low tenor, aka my strong voice.

“I’m Johnny.” He reached a hand out to me.

I tore my eyes from his and stared at his hand. I was suddenly very concerned over what touching this man would do to me. “Jewel.” I placed my hand in his.
My heart raced as he lifted it and pressed my knuckles to his soft, full lips. “Per-fect name.”

His hot breath and lips on my fingers went straight to all those womanly places that I’d barred every man from. I gripped his fingers, needing something to hold on to.
He eyed me with wonder.

I forced a disconnection, trying to appear unburned by his touch. But I failed miserably as I pulled back my hand with a series of embarrassing jerky hesitations. My lord, I’d said more without words than I could or wanted to explain, and yet felt the need to.
“Johnny, huh?” It came on a squeaky whisper.

“Yeah.” He lowered his head, and I glanced at him, trying to read his mind. He looked troubled, but about what and why, lord I wanted to know.

“Do you have a middle name, Jewel?”

He spot-lighted me with liquid sapphire and my mouth opened without speech. “Uh, well, yeah, everybody has a middle name.” I stroked my ponytail several times and tried to smile. “Pearl is mine. Jewel Pearl Harbor.” I gave a light laugh. “Momma and daddy never lacked a sense of humor.” I realized I cared way too much about what he thought about my stupid name. Of course his face would grow so darn serious again. And mysterious. “It’s uh, a family joke.” I took a deep breath, feeling the need to level this playing field. “What about you? What’s your middle name?”

He turned from the island and answered me with his delicious backside. “No middle name. Just Johnny Blue.”

I averted my gaze as he turned with the coffee pot, barely managing to not get caught lusting. I watched the coppery liquid pour into the red ceramic. “Johnny Blue? Well I think that’s a very nice name. Is that why your favorite color is blue?”

He only gave a soft smile, keeping his attention on the cups. “How do you know that?”

I tossed a glance at the art studio. “Well it’s pretty obvious in those pictures over there, I think. I love them—the colors I mean. And the pictures too, of course.”

He assaulted me with one of those electrical smiles while I’d bumbled out the words, turning up the voltage as each word passed my lips. Whether he liked what I said, or thought I was hilarious, I wasn’t sure, but more inclined to believe the worst.

He slowly slid my cup of coffee to me then went to the counter behind him and returned with a tray. I smiled at the two white glass canisters with tiny green dragons painted on them. Adorable. He set them on the island between us. “Cream and sugar?”

“I uh- yeah, why not.” I pulled the tray carefully toward me.

“Are you trying to quit?” His soft tone held humor.

I glanced from him to the canisters, picking up the tiny silver spoon that went with it. “Nah, I just…” I removed the lid to the sugar and scooped two in my cup, try-ing to think. “I normally drink it black, but, with dishes like this, I can’t resist.” I cleared my throat and picked up the creamer then promptly over-flowed my cup with it. “Oh lordy,” I whispered.

I looked around for a cloth and Johnny tossed me a napkin. I wiped it up, feeling like this whole thing was a long and painful audition that I was ruining. I gave a light laugh, bringing the mug of coffee to my lips. “I’ve always been a goofball.” And to prove my point, I dribbled coffee down my chin.

Johnny was just a watchin’ the whole damn show and tossed me another napkin.
I forced out more light laughter. “Might as well give me the whole stack, I’m likely to need it.”

He slid the wrought iron napkin holder closer and I shot a glance at him. “Just as you’re likely to not get many visitors like me, I’m likely to burn the place down.” Like-ly, likely, don’t you know any other words? I dabbed coffee off my chin and white t-shirt, then wiped the counter for extra measure all the while feeling the burn of those blue orbs on me.

“It ain’t nice to stare at the company, Johnny B.” I took another sip of coffee, be-ing extra careful while avoiding his gaze.

“You’re nice to stare at.”

The compliment undid the little composure I pretended to have and coffee sloshed out of my cup when I set it down too fast. “Might as well dump the whole cup on the counter and get it over with,” I mumbled, grabbing another napkin and shaking my head.

“Can I paint you?”

“Ohhhh my lord,” I breathed, fanning my face a little. “Paint me? Like with paint?” For some reason I thought he meant on my body, then it dawned on me he meant paint a picture of me. “Oh, I—I’ve never done anything like that.”

“Me either.”

I looked at him, surprised.

“Well, I mean…” he looked down. “I haven’t’ in a very long time.”

That pressed my puzzle button. “Well why start now?”

His brows drew together briefly. “Yeah, you’re probably right, stupid idea.”

I immediately regretted my words. “Well, I mean, I wouldn’t call it stupid, I just ain’t never had nobody want to paint me, it’s kinda… I don’t know, embarrassing, I guess.” I stirred the little spoon in my cup loudly.

“Embarrassing?” Like he’d thought it was something else and had never considered that.

“Well yeah, I’m not used to people…you know…” I tapped the spoon rapidly on the edge of my cup then returned it to the tray, “staring at me.”

I lifted my cup and took a sip in the fat silence.

“Of course.”

I was pretty sure that was relief I heard in that velvety voice of his. The idea that he might have his own inhibitions made me want to encourage him. “I ain’t never had nobody ask to paint me. But… if I was to be painted, I think you’d be a… I mean, you’re very nice and… it’s just a picture for crying out loud.” I laughed a little. “I’d love it if you painted me, why not. Only if you still want to, though.”

I worked up the nerve to look at him after several seconds of silence. Made no sense that I suddenly wanted to beg him to. But I did. Cause it felt like he’d offered me a ride and I’d turned it down, not realizing he was offering a ride to the moon.

He suddenly walked toward me and as the distance closed between us, my heart sped up. He stood at my left shoulder and all I could do was keep my palms firmly on the counter, waiting, holding my breath, wondering what on earth he might say or do.
My body tingled when he slid a finger along my face. Then spoke words that went further into my bones than words had a right to go. “I do want to paint you. You’re different.”

There was a raw need in his voice that lit a flame in me. A flame I had no idea how to control, didn’t want to. I couldn’t turn to him cause I could feel it. The insane urge to consume his lips right where he stood. Lord. How did this happen?

“Can I start tomorrow?” His voice was so damn calm! It was unfair.

My heart hammered my chest. Start? How long did it take? I nodded, only able to glance toward him, surely not at him. What must he be thinking? What a prude to be so undone over something so silly. It’s not like I was stripping naked.

My stomach jolted as naked bodies flashed in my mind, making lava leak from that volcano in my center. “I’d… I’d really like that.” And there it was, years of unmet need right there in my quiet answer. But all regret was erased when he whispered that thank you, next to my ear. I’d never heard such emotions mixed in a tone. Joy—mystery—passion—it was enough to make me swoon.

I suddenly knew right then and there. I would let that man paint me however he wanted or needed. Clothed, nude, standing on my head, it didn’t matter, the only thing that mattered was answering that need I’d heard in “I do want to paint you.” Because really, to my ears, it sounded like, I do need to paint you.

I followed his beautiful form as he went to the sink, turned, and placed both palms on the counter behind him. “What time would you like to come?”

I tucked hair behind my ear wondering why the word come suddenly took on an erotic meaning. “I get off work after supper time—eight o-clock. If you don’t mind workin’ evenin’s then…that works for me.”

He stirred his coffee then put his spoon in the sink next to him. “I love painting in the evening.”

I swallowed as every letter in his soft words slid through me and tickled places that had never been touched. Not like that.

“So it’s a date.” He gave me a sexy half smile before sipping his coffee, all while masturbating my soul with those clear blue eyes.

I focused on sipping my own coffee, wanting to vomit with excitement. “Yes, it sure is.”

Faith in the Future

08 Sunday Dec 2013

Posted by Ame Baby in My Horrorscopes, Personal

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Pisces Daily horoscope for December 8, 2013.

Have faith in the future.  It is very hard for me to do that at the moment – the uncertainty – the waiting, the wondering, the WHY.  I have struggled before and have overcome; yet this time is taking its toll on me so heavily.  I am not asking for much. I want to stay where I am, close to my daughter, in the apartment I have come to love so much and regard as “home” and my safe place, where I am comfortable and my fur balls have room to roam and play.  I just need food and warmth and yes – I need the internet to be able to do all the things I do.  This is all I am asking for.  I don’t think it’s much.  So I leave my future in the hands of the universe and I pray that things will turn out okay for me and that I can continue to live simply, yet happily.  I don’t really think that is asking for too much.  I have had a lot – I have had nothing.  It’s the not knowing that is scary, but I am survivor, and I guess I will make it work one way or another.   I just wish someone or something could send me a sign saying “you will be okay”.

Just a nice little reminder, in case you are in the giving/holiday spirit – there is a link on the title page to my PayPal.  I am not proud.  I would genuinely and humbly take any donation anyone wants to make.  I can even do something for it if you’d like (legally).  Times are hard – so very, very hard.  😦  But I will survive.  Somehow.

 

Pisces Daily horoscope for November 4, 2013 – And Away I Go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

04 Monday Nov 2013

Posted by Ame Baby in Medical, My Horrorscopes, Personal

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get_well_soon_reflecting_rose

Pisces Daily horoscope for November 4, 2013.

At the hospital by 6 am, surgery at 8 am.  Wish me luck!!  See ya on the flip side!!

New ankle – pretty cool!!!!

Tarot.com’s Saturn’s Lessons Astrology Report by Ryuji Kagami

29 Tuesday Oct 2013

Posted by Ame Baby in My Horrorscopes, New Things I Learn Each Day, Personal

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Tarot.com’s Saturn’s Lessons Astrology Report by Ryuji Kagami.

Fucking STUNNED out of my brain!!!!!!  How do they know this stuff??  How? Can someone please explain this to me??

 

Pisces Daily horoscope for October 28, 2013 – Grappling with Health Concerns

28 Monday Oct 2013

Posted by Ame Baby in Food, My Horrorscopes, Personal

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Tags

Albany, Albany Medical Center, Dreams, Evergreen B & B, New Jersey, Pisces, Psychology, Taylor Ham

Pisces Daily horoscope for October 28, 2013.

Yeah – that’s pretty fucking funny.  I’m afraid I’m going to die, I am off to Albany Med for pre-admission testing (if i can find parking) alone, and then I am going HOME.  To NJ.  I don’t care HOW long I have lived up here.  NJ is my home state – flawed as it is and I am.  Taylor ham and cheese baby, the ocean, Laurie Daurie, good food, a damn good cry, lots and lots of swearing and flipping people off – oh I can’t wait.  Get me the fuck outta here!!

October 28, 2013

  1. PiscesPisces (2/19-3/20)

     

    When you have some downtime today, you should make the most of it. Duck out of reality and step into your fantasy life for a little while. Get back in there and fill in some blanks with new goals, new dreams and new faces. Dream about where you’ll be in ten years. Fantasize about who you will be with and what you will be doing. Putting energy into your fantasies will actually help make your reality a little more clearer. Daydreaming will help your day go by.

  2.  

    Yes, that’s right, Ame, this is exactly how things look just before your life blasts off…

    Houston, we have ignition –
    The Universe

    If I were you, Ame, I’d start thinking about updating your TUT profile and your future. It’s in the bag.

March 2

27 Sunday Oct 2013

Posted by Ame Baby in Celebs, Cool Things, Music, My Horrorscopes, New Things I Learn Each Day, Personal, Sads

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Tags

Dr. Seuss, Jon Bon Jovi, Lou Reed, Mikhail Gorbachev, Taylor Ham, Velvet Underground, Walk On The Wild Side

That’s my birthday.  It’s an odd day.  Not a lot of people born on it.  I personally only know 2 others, and the list of “famous people” isn’t very long.  Jon Bon Jovi, Mikhail Gorbachev, Dr. Seuss, Lou Reed…  we lost the last one today.  Take A Walk On The Wild Side – how many times did I sing that song over over in my life, for many different meanings, for many different occasions, each one a perfect fit, as he was a consummate story teller.

I am due tomorrow up at AMC for pre-admission testing at 9:30 am.  Thanks.   I can barely function by then, and as I have just found out I have been literally poisoning myself for the last two or three months without realizing it -it’s going to be a fuck ton load of fun getting up, getting ready and getting there. Alone. I had discovered these snack bars – Fibre 90 or some shit.  They were delicious, 90 calories – I ate them like M&M’s.  I noticed they had the Box Top for school things on them, and I grabbed a flattened empty box to ask friends on FB if they wanted the point things.  There, in small lettering, on the bottom, underneath something completely different (no, I am NOT going to break out into Alice’s Restaurant – that is almost  4 weeks away yet) were the words “May contain  traces of blah, blah and walnuts”.  I have odd food allergies.  I am allergic to oranges, but not grapefruit.  Strawberries, but no other berries.  Tomatoes, apples – but my WORST allergy?  Yeah.  Walnuts.  I have been trying to figure out why I haven’t felt good – why I ache so much, am so stiff, why I hurt in the middle of the night, etc.

I am going into this surgery with HUGE trepidation as it is.  This is my 20 somethingth surgery – I know the drill – it’s my second one this year.  WHY is this one such a big deal?  Why am I SO FUCKING SCARED??  Maybe now I know why.  Maybe my own brain was saying well, you’re on your way, may as well finish it. I don’t know.  I am pulling out every stop I know and can think of for this one.  Prayers (I’m not picky), CD’s, jewelry, a quick trip “home” to see the ocean, cry on my friend’s shoulder and have Taylor Ham at a Greek diner – hey – I’m from Joisey – you wanna make sumthin of it, huh??  Phuque Ewe!!  ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐

I am going to write a nice letter to the people who make my now ex-favorite snack and explain to them that maybe, just maybe they should put that in bigger writing somewhere on the package so someone DOESN’T die.  Maybe I will be a bitch and CC my lawyers.  I don’t know.  I don’t know ANYTHING anymore!!!  Maybe that’s from the walnuts, too.

I just want to say now, in case I forget and I don’t make it out okay – I love my daughter with my heart and soul, and I know my purpose on this planet was to make sure she got here and was taken care of until she was an adult.  My job is done.  So if it is my time, I go in peace knowing that.  If it’s not – well, then, I will be back to tell more of my story.  Because I haven’t even begun.  And it needs to be told.

Peace out.  RIP Lou.  Be my personal angel.  Walk beside me.  I need you.

REALLY?? Isn’t this what this blog is all about? *confusion sets in*

22 Tuesday Oct 2013

Posted by Ame Baby in My Horrorscopes, New Things I Learn Each Day, Personal

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choiceOctober 22, 2013

  1. PiscesPisces (2/19-3/20)

    You’ve been playing around with a certain hobby for a while, and it’s suddenly dawned on you that you really and truly might be able to make a full-time job of this — or at least a part-time source of income. It’s a good idea and you shouldn’t dismiss it. You might, however, want to come up with a solid plan before you quit your day job, that is. Get out some legal pads and start scribbling.

Pisces Daily horoscope for October 21, 2013 – Visions

21 Monday Oct 2013

Posted by Ame Baby in My Horrorscopes, Personal

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Tags

Dubai, Outer Mongolia, Pisces

Pisces Daily horoscope for October 21, 2013.

Ha!!  If I followed every vision I had I’d be in Dubai or Outer Mongolia at the moment!!  Gonna try to get some things together and mailed to Erica, try to decide whether or not to say Happy Birthday to someone somewhere else other than FB and contemplate running to see Carloni, which means a long time in the car BUT really good people and food.  What to do what to do….the shore beckons me.  I need to see the ocean before I have surgery, I know this.

Then this?

October 21, 2013

  1. PiscesPisces (2/19-3/20)

     

    Right now, you have your hands full — full of secrets. Secret meetings, secret admirers and secret conversations. And while the ‘secret admirer’ part doesn’t sound too bad at all, you’ll have to be careful with the rest of it. There’s no one more trustworthy than you, and no one more compassionate — that’s a proven fact. But little does the rest of the world know how passionate you can be. So be cautious. Don’t step on any toes.

Pisces Daily horoscope for October 13, 2013 – Joke Em if They Can’t Take a Fuck

13 Sunday Oct 2013

Posted by Ame Baby in My Horrorscopes, Parenting, Personal

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Tags

Celtic Music, Parenting, Sheep, Waldorf education

Pisces Daily horoscope for October 13, 2013.

I was invited to the Annual Fall Festival today.  Part of me wants to stay home and chill and listen to Celtic Music all day and just do mundane Sunday stuff.  The other wants to bling myself out, go, show my new self off, and pretty much tell those people what I think of them, their little cult, they way they treated me for 15 years – how, by not making me full time, yet using me for everything I had – has put me at poverty level for disability.  How my refusal to become one of their sheep because I was NOT, nor will I EVER be ANYONE’S sheep has made me loathe them, bitter, and ALMOST remorseful that I ever spent all that money to send my daughter there.  But in the end, that is what is came down to.  Always.  What was best for my daughter.  And she is a Waldorf child.  No two ways about it.  The nanosecond I left, I was replaced by a sheep, and they miraculously made my position full time.  What to do, what to do…..

Pisces Daily horoscope for October 5, 2013 – HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

06 Sunday Oct 2013

Posted by Ame Baby in My Horrorscopes, Personal

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Facebook, Lies, PayPal, Rage, Stradivarius

Pisces Daily horoscope for October 5, 2013.

Serious doubts about the uncertainty of my future??  That’s the funniest fucking thing I have heard in months!!!  Let’s see.  I am having major surgery in less than a month.  I have no clue IF I am coming home afterwards or going to some “rehab facility” (who will watch my animals and my house, helloooo??) or if I DO come home, who is going to be here to help me?  I will run out of money in 7 months.  That means I will be homeless.  My mother says we won’t let that happen.  I trust her as far as I can throw her, which I would like to do a lot lately.  I am filing for disability, but if you can’t even spell my fucking name right on the 800 pieces of paper you sent me to fill out, my faith in you getting it done quickly is pretty much shot.  My kid?  I go out yesterday to go food shopping – they are TOO TIRED to come with me, but could I get them a few things?  $140 later – my Food Stamp card is empty, I am $25 in cash broker than when I got there, and when I get home and say something, I get tude.  I went to bed, slept like shit as usual, got up and immediately started arguing with said daughter, who can’t even remember her own lies half the fucking time – yes DeDe – I was 21 once, too – I remember what it’s like to be selfish and think the world owes you everything and no one has it worse than you do and you work soooooooo hard – let me take you somewhere and show your lazy spoiled privileged entitled (in YOUR mind) ass what REAL hard work is.  I may not make my surgery, because I will probably have a heart attack or a fucking stroke before I even make it up there.  The world is full of incompetent assholes and I seem to be surrounded by the best of them these days!!  After an epic text war (I am not worth enough for a phone call or gods forbid a fucking visit), I finally said I am done, give me back the keys, and get the fuck out of my life.  Do not talk to me, do not pass go, do not collect $200.  Or has it changed for inflation or the drop in the market?

I hear the door open, she comes in all quiet and contrite – I am sorry mom, I didn’t mean it I’m stressed I’m this I’m that, yadda yadda on and on for 1/2 and hour.  It has taken me until now to realize I have done it again.  I fell for it again.  She was here, she did nothing but take my food, and leave.  No help – oh wait – Boone took out the garbage and they did walk to Family Dollar for me, but more promises were made, which means more lies were told, and I can BET you any amount of money come Tuesday she will be busy, have to work, sick or something else and I will be yet again fucked up the ass sideways without KY and nothing will get done; nor will I get paid back any of the money I am owed for the the little shopping spree that happened.  I. AM. A. SUCKER.  And an asshole, and every other word you wanna use to describe how little self control I have when it comes to my precious darling.  i think I need to grow a paid of titanium ones and just take the damn keys from her and sat LATER.  Because I am going to be so screwed in 3 weeks if I don’t, it won’t be funny.  And my FB friends are sure in hell aren’t going to come take care of me.  I get played like a damn Stradivarius.  EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

Time to change.  Time to grow – to move on, to say fuck this – you are on your own – it is MY TURN.  Maybe that’s what my horrorscope meant.  It’s MY turn.

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