Ame, there are some things that are best forgotten. And when I remember what a few of them are, I’ll drop you a line. But a couple of things worth remembering, that are all too easily forgotten, are the times in your life when you felt absolutely alone and uncertain. Yet somehow, perhaps beyond perception, there was a great click, after which suddenly a new friend appeared, an idea was imparted, or a connection established, causing the tides to turn and the floodgates to open.

And remembering this, should such “alone and uncertain times” ever revisit you, however dark they may seem, you’ll at least be comforted by recalling how transient they always are. 

Pass it on, 
    The Universe

Ame, did you just hear something?

 

I met her on fb looking for something.  She made me a bracelet out of all of the stone I would need to break thru this fucking fear and get this surgery over with.  I don’t want to die.  I know it’s going to hurt. I have done this countless of time. I know the fucking drill.  This is my second surgery this year.  I don’t care that they cut my food stamps.  I don’t care that I have less money than I thought. NINETY minutes with the therapist yesterday couldn’t break this paralyzing fear I had.  90 seconds of pleading with someone and having her come up with 9 stones on a “prayer bead” bracelet – albeit a pagan one with the Tree of Life, a pentacle and one other pagan charm and I was fine.  It broke whatever chains were binding me.  I slept for 12 straight hours – no cats, no dogs, just me – dead asleep.  Some dreams – no nightmares. I am so late – but only going to my GP today, then will copy all the damn lawyer’s mistakes – 8 hours to do all that paperwork and it’s STILL wrong – fucking incompetent assholes – no wonder people loathe and make lawyer jokes – they’re all true.  

I WILL BE OKAY!!!!!